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Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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Not Witty or Fun

Uploaded: Jul 21, 2014
As a follow on to the last post, about serial relationships and the "conversation with their ex, in front of their new spouse while their kids look on soaking it all up?" I would venture to say from what I see and hear in my office it is agony for all involved.

Switching kids from one home to another is very hard on the kids. Most adults are trying to survive these verbal and situational interactions, hoping their kids don't see and hear. Of course, kids are adept at reading all the signs between their parents.

Certain parents are not good about keeping their thoughts about their X from their kids and that has to be a top priority, along with not using kids to pass messages, papers, etc.

The research shows that "blending" a family takes about seven years.

Many marriages can be saved and in fact become stronger and more intimate. Many people give up too early in the counseling process, especially after waiting too long to begin the process (average six years of problems).

Please don't confuse TV with life.

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