College-application ordeal: One family's great adventure College-application ordeal: One family's great adventure (March 23, 2005)

By Kate Daly

Special to the Almanac

Right now our family is caught in a waiting game, one that started several years ago when we first began a conversation about where our eldest child would go away to college.

"Away" is a key word since we have always thought that part of the value of going to college is leaving home and learning to live on your own: doing your laundry, handling a bank account, and making medical appointments.

So, it should not come as a surprise that our eldest daughter is waiting to hear from six schools back East. Her list of possibles also includes a state university and a small private college in the middle of the country, and two colleges in Southern California. For all the talk of independence, we have found it really comes down to a lot of family decisions, ranging from where to travel with our daughter to visit colleges, to planning this year's summer vacation around when she might have freshman orientation.

For us the whole anxiety-filled process of getting our daughter into college formally began freshman year at her private high school in Atherton, where college counselors advised us to relax about the subject.

However, in the next breath, they advised us to make sure our child took the hardest courses she could handle and still get good grades. Oh, and by the way, she should develop a passion for something on the side, and get a job, so she can tell stories about these experiences on her college applications in a few years.

In subsequent parent meetings during her sophomore year, we were told the University of California system may not count freshman and senior year grades, but does count sophomore and junior year grades, so to be aware of that. The tests

Her high school automatically administered the PSAT at school, using the test as a practice run for the math and verbal SAT I that juniors are expected to take, and then retake in their senior year to strive for improved scores.

SAT II tests entered the picture, too. The counselors suggested taking three: one in writing, one in math, and then at least another in a subject the student has mastered. For example, if a student is doing well in honors biology, then best to take a SAT II test in biology when the course material is still fresh in the student's mind, regardless of the year.

The SAT tests are offered on multiple Saturday mornings in the fall and spring. Registration is handled largely online, which entails keeping a credit card handy at the keyboard.

Then there's the ACT, another standardized measure of verbal and math skills that the counselors said was optional, but perhaps preferable since it reportedly relates more to what's taught in classes.

By senior year, the pursuit of high test scores amounts to a lot of time, money, and energy spent in a nerve-wracking way.

Many Friday nights are ruined with studying, and Saturday mornings can be wiped out driving around trying to find an obscure test site in Oakland, because a student failed to register in time at a location closer to home.

Mapquest and cell phone companies do a brisk business the morning of these tests because getting lost is almost guaranteed under such stressful conditions.

Adding to the stress level in junior and senior years is the need to schedule visits to see various colleges so the student can figure out whether to apply to a small or large, rural or urban, in-state or out-of-state college.

There are many college guides. We relied on Fiske, Princeton Review, and the Insider's Guide to colleges, for example, but there's nothing like actually visiting a campus.

Every institution has a Web site loaded with facts, such as details on informational sessions, campus tours, and interviews with admissions officers. We plotted to visit two places a day, but given variables such as delayed airplanes and/or wet weather, even that proved to be a challenge.

Due to our rolling stone approach, we never stayed long enough for our daughter to attend classes, or spend the night with a student, which may have been a mistake in retrospect.

In our case, during her junior year, we planned a five-day trip to New England over spring break. A series of phone calls nailed down the arrangements, and off we went, only to find that while many colleges welcomed juniors, they didn't want to interview juniors until they finished wooing the current seniors.

Our daughter made an effort to sign in at each college to show she had physically visited the campus. Her college counselors recommended following up with personal e-mails thanking each school, and coming up with additional questions to prove her interest, too.

UC campuses differ, apparently, in that they handle such a huge volume of visitors and applicants, they don't necessarily keep track of each point of contact.
Countdown

Senior year became a blur of more tests, visiting several California colleges during days off from school, and meeting with admissions representatives at her school or at hotels as far away as San Francisco.

Usually those talks featured slide shows and question-and-answer periods. Sometimes the groups were small, so she prepared for each session in an effort to make a good impression.

In our daughter's case, she did all this while juggling four advanced placement courses, being privately tutored for the SATs, and worrying about filling out applications.

THE LIST of where she wanted to apply somehow materialized amidst the chaos. She pored through all the notes she jotted down after each visit and meeting, thumbed through the college guidebooks to see if her test scores were hovering in the right ranges, and read the catalogs she had collected along the way.

Web sites yielded more insights, and whenever possible, she talked with students or alumni at each college to find out even more.

After being assigned to work with one college counselor at her school (not a hired counselor whom we felt would be redundant), our daughter then shaped a list of desirable colleges that ranged from realistic to farfetched.

Each place has a different deadline, so it takes some serious organizational skills to prioritize the dates. Many schools use the common application, an online form with uniform questions that can be submitted to more than one place. Most institutions, however, have their own supplemental form, filled with additional essay questions. As a result, out of 10 applications, our daughter was only able to reuse parts of one essay twice, and had to start afresh on all the other essays.

To round out her file, she put extra effort into creating slides of her studio artwork, making copies, and mailing them to each school. Needless to say, winter break was anything but a break for her because she faced so many early January deadlines.

Now, as our daughter waits to hear from the colleges, she is glad to have all that work behind her, but she is visibly nervous whenever the mail arrives.

She already recognizes the difference between a thin and thick envelope, because she applied to two places that offer rolling admissions and tell the student's status right away. She was accepted by both of those colleges, and deferred at the one school where she applied "early decision." Had she been accepted on an "early decision" basis, it would have been a binding agreement. This contrasts with an "early action" application, which means if you're accepted, you are in, but not committed to going there.

She feels fortunate knowing that her friend is under way more pressure while he waits to hear from 22 schools, including some real stretches such as Ivy League colleges.

Our daughter also realizes that the waiting game could drag on into May, because she might get into some places we didn't visit, and we may have to plan yet another college trip next month.

At least the chase is almost over, and if we do travel, it'll be with her in a new role as one of the seniors being wooed.
Kate Daly lives in Woodside and is a contributor to the Almanac.

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