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Publication Date: Wednesday, May 11, 2005 The write medicine
The write medicine
(May 11, 2005) Women living with cancer discover the healing power of writing
By Renee Batti
Almanac News Editor
It's a peaceful gathering, with women sitting in a circle in the softly lit, soothingly furnished room. Their heads are lowered over notebooks -- bound journals, spiral notepads, binders with lined pages inviting a geometry of ink.
Pens are guided across the pages, and there's hardly a sound in the room, save for pages turning and an occasional sigh. When the writing stops and the women raise their eyes from their work, there's a sense of calm. Now, each writer may read her work aloud, or choose to hold what has just emerged from within close to herself, private. Most read aloud.
These are women on a shared yet paradoxically solitary journey. They are using voices many of them hadn't even realized they possessed -- the voice of a writer -- to lift themselves back up after being laid low by the diagnosis and agonizing treatment of breast cancer.
These are the Scribbling Women of CBHP -- women who meet Wednesday nights to work with Menlo Park writer Sharon Bray in a writing workshop sponsored by the Community Breast Health Project, also known as CBHP.
The workshop, developed by Ms. Bray several years ago on the heels of her own battle with breast cancer, is designed to tap into the healing aspects of writing. It is offered free by CBHP for women in treatment or recently treated for breast cancer.
"Research shows that writing promotes physical and emotional healing when writers turn their experiences into stories," Ms. Bray explains.
A teacher with a doctorate in applied psychology, Ms. Bray points to the work of a number of prominent researchers who link writing and other forms of expression to healing from disease and trauma. Among them is clinical psychiatrist Dr. David Spiegel, a professor of psychiatry at Stanford who has explored different therapeutic treatment models and their impact on metastatic patients, she says.
Dr. Spiegel is one of several researchers and writers whose endorsements are included on the back cover of Ms. Bray's book, "A Healing Journey: Writing Together Through Breast Cancer," which was released last year.
" 'A Healing Journey' provides compelling evidence that if you have cancer,
it is right to write," Dr. Spiegel states.
Shared stories
The CBHP sponsors two writing workshops for breast cancer patients and survivors, which are held on alternating Wednesdays at its center at 545 Bryant St. in Palo Alto.
Ms. Bray's writing-process techniques are based on the approach of the Amherst Writers, which involves writing prompts and suggestions, excerpts from poetry and literature, and guided meditations. Those who choose to read their work are listened to attentively, with no analysis or judgment allowed to be voiced.
On a recent Wednesday, the women read "Scar" by former Maryland poet laureate and breast cancer survivor Lucille Clifton, then used the poem as a springboard for their own written musings.
Then, after a reading of the lively, in-your-face "What do Women Want?" by poet Kim Addonizio, they were asked to choose from a large selection of photos depicting women engaged in various activities, or just gazing at the camera.
While a few women wrote of the scars related to their cancer, some wrote of childhood mishaps; one recalled giving birth. And the photos inspired a creative bouquet of stories imagined by the budding writers.
The writing, says Kristen Thurston of Menlo Park, is not always about cancer. "It's not always serious -- there's plenty of laughter," she says. A workshop writer since last August, Ms. Thurston notes that sharing stories and poems during the two-hour sessions "is a great way to get to know people" and feel connected with women coping with the same struggles.
"It's been awesome," she says. "And Sharon (Bray) is fantastic -- so caring and so good at eliciting expressive writing from people."
Budding writers
Many of the women in the workshops have no professional writing background, nor did they write in journals or for their own pleasure before signing up at CBHP.
Paula Callahan of Menlo Park says she was encouraged to attend the writing workshop by a friend in a cancer support group at Stanford. But because she had never written before, she balked. Now that she's a regular workshop writer, she may find it hard to leave.
"The writing has enabled me to be surprised about myself," Ms. Callahan says. When prompts are introduced in the class, "I think I know where I'm going to go. But then the pen hits the paper, and it goes somewhere else."
Writers often surprise themselves during the 10 or 20 minutes allotted for each assignment, and the atmosphere in the room after a reading can be buoyant and sparking with energy.
But the exploration of suppressed pain and unspoken emotions is another enriching aspect of the workshop. Although the group's goal isn't therapy, "it's therapeutic for many of us," says Ms. Callahan. "All of your skin is off, and you're just in the raw. Everything comes back, and you just have to deal with it."
And, she adds, the writing experience "is powerful, because it heals all of me -- not just the cancer, but all the rest."
Ms. Thurston says prior to taking the workshop, she wrote in journals, and occasionally wrote essays and fiction, "but I never showed anyone else." When she signed up for Ms. Bray's workshop, she decided that she would bite the bullet and read aloud, and that decision has produced "unexpectedly good benefits," she says.
The workshop "has so exceeded my expectations of what I would get out of it,"
says Ms. Thurston, an attorney working in Palo Alto. Calling it "meditative
and restorative," she says it allows her to set aside everyday concerns
and stress, and leaves her stronger when she goes "back into the world."
Healing power of writing
One researcher Ms. Bray cites often when she speaks about the benefits of writing is James W. Pennebaker, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas who says that he accidentally discovered the power of a certain type of writing through experiments he conducted as a research psychologist in the mid-1980s.
In the earliest study, "people were asked to write about either a traumatic experience or a superficial event for four consecutive days, 15 minutes a day," he writes in his book, "Writing to Heal."
"To my surprise, those who wrote about their traumas needed less medical attention in the following months than they had previously; and many said the writing had changed their lives."
Research done since that time indicates that "writing is a far more powerful tool for healing than anyone had ever imagined," Mr. Pennebaker writes.
One example given is the effects of expressive writing on the immune system. "The body's immune system can function more or less effectively depending on the person's stress level," he writes, citing studies that have concluded that "emotional writing is associated with general enhancement in immune function."
Wake-up call
Ms. Bray was too timid to call herself a writer before 2000, even though she had written a children's book, some poetry and volumes of personal journals.
She had twice signed up for Amherst writing workshops, and twice canceled. The CEO for a nonprofit, "I'd been a pretty driven high-achiever."
Then, the wake-up call: Her breast cancer diagnosis was delivered in 2000. By summer, she followed through on her Amherst workshop registration, opening the door that would allow her not only to stamp the word "writer" on her business card but to pursue research on the methods and effects of expressive, narrative writing.
Before attending that workshop, she had resigned her CEO position and undergone two lumpectomies and seven weeks of radiation. Her experiences led her to CBHP, and the same summer she took her first writing workshop, she signed on as interim director of that organization.
After helping to find a permanent director, Ms. Bray proposed piloting a writing workshop. The pilot was launched in 2001.
Four years later, she says she is passionate about what she does -- and it shows, both in the way she works with the women in the workshop and in the enthusiasm with which she speaks about the program. She is engaged in "joyful, humbling, deep, deep, deep work. I learn so much from these women," she says almost reverently.
"I really believe that writing is deeply spiritual. For me, it's a lot like prayer."
In addition to the CBHP program, Ms. Bray offers free drop-in writing workshops at the Stanford Cancer Center, and a program through the Bay Area Breast Cancer Network. Some of those programs are open to spouses of cancer patients.
She is set to release another book next year, this one a guide to leading workshops on writing for healing.
The CBHP workshops have become so popular that many women don't want to stop attending, and the organization has had to set limits to make space for new participants. Now, women can sign up for three consecutive sessions. After that, if they are doing well and are out of treatment, they've got to make room for others, Ms. Bray says.
"It's really important to re-enter life."
Information
For more information on the CBHP writing workshops, call the organization at 326-6299. CBHP also has a Web site, cbhp.org.
In their own words
The following poems, by Neli Stascausky,
Marcia Davis-Cannon and Paula Callahan, were written in CBHP workshops
led by Sharon Bray. They are reprinted with the writers' permission.
How I Write
By Neli Stascausky
I write without organizing rhythm or rhyme
in my mind
Like pure water from a spring
into a crystal bowl
the words flow from my heart to my hand.
I let the sunlight give them life and then
gently, move them to feel the spark,
all natural, unstructured, not judged.
I feel free at last! And my words
dance in someone's mind
to their own rhythm and rhyme
and I'm alive!
Mortality
By Marcia Davis-Cannon
We're different, we who have had cancer.
We can't saunter through life, unaware.
We confront our mortality early, and often.
Others may pretend they can live forever,
ignoring the finality of this existence,
but we know better.
Death wakes us in the night,
lodges between us and our partner in bed,
wriggles into the hugs we give our children.
We know we won't be here forever.
We don't know, can't know
how long we have to live with that knowledge.
All we can do
is draw every delectable drop
out of every moment we have.
What would you do differently
if you knew you only had
the rest of your life to live?
Scar
By Paula Callahan
Scar -- help me recall your birth
When you came, I was mending, feeling stronger
As I stare, I recall sadness and grief.
Will I live -- will I die
Scar -- help me remember -- surgery, chemo, radiation
Not long ago you were red, now pink
But when I dare to peek, I feel cheated -- I lost my strength.
Will I live -- will I die
Scar -- on my arm -- you drank the poisons to kill the evil
The veins forever rent, yet your color dims
You served me well -- you survived eight whole rounds
Will I live -- will I die
Scar -- in my bones -- pain awakens me in the dark of night
Knees, feet, thighs -- pulsating
So much agony I cannot sleep
Will I live -- will I die
Scar of my mind -- terror and loathing
Often in a fog -- chemo brain they say
I enshrine the brilliance that is gone
Will I live -- will I die
Scar -- on my face -- years of aging in so short a time
Lines here, lines there -- like never before, accelerating
So much stress -- so much toxic waste
Will I live -- will I die
Scar -- on my heart -- I was distraught, filled with fear
You, too, have paled but the pierce was deep
I spun out of control but am slowly recovering
Will I live -- will I die
Scars, scars, go away -- fade and fade more each day
Flee my heart, let my body rest
I am going to live ...
and live ...
and live ...
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