The search for bigfoot goes on Fiction, posted by Joe, a resident of the Menlo Park: Allied Arts/Stanford Park neighborhood, on Aug 20, 2008 at 4:07 pm
A prominent researcher in the search for Bigfoot works out of Menlo Park. My immediate question: why Menlo Park?
I think it goes back, way back, to Thomas Edison in Menlo Park, New Jersey. During one of his experiments with electricity, a big stranger wandered through Edison's outdoor lab, bumped up against a Jacob's Ladder device, and, after a series of unfortunate events that involved massive amounts of electricity, he became a hairy monster with gigantic feet and, as has become apparent, a much longer lifespan.
Like Dr. Frankenstein, Edison alternately loathed and loved his accidental creation. They chatted and ate together on occasion and Edison acted on Bigfoot's behalf when he could not do for himself, such as visits to the haberdasher and the bicycle repair shop.
But Edison could only wring his hands in despair and regret at reports of midnight havoc in local cornfields and watermelon patches, not to mention bicycle tire outlets. (This was a time before the mountain bike and tires just weren't up to the standard we all enjoy today.)
When Edison died, the whole idea behind Menlo Park died with him, at least as far as Bigfoot was concerned. He wanted nothing more to do with New Jersey. But in remembrance of his best pal, he now lives near Menlo Park, California, in a forested area in and around Portola Valley and Woodside.
The locale suits his craving for privacy as well as its proximity to that namesake town. Bigfoot's well-to-do neighbors, the elite of Silicon Valley, are naturally reluctant to invite the scorn of the national media by claiming to have seen him. It's ideal.
His favorite holiday, not surprisingly, is National Gorilla Suit Day, made famous by Mad Magazine cartoonist Don Martin. Sadly the holiday is little celebrated, so he makes do with Halloween.
It is rumors of Bigfoot sightings on Halloween night that brought researchers to Menlo Park.
Posted by Dr. Smartypants, a resident of the Menlo Park: Park Forest neighborhood, on Aug 21, 2008 at 9:37 am
At last, an intelligent issue we can discuss seriously. We need to have more topics like this on this Town Square blog. It enriches our minds. As a lifetime member of the Flat Earth Society, I say we have lots to talk about.
Furthermore, I not only challenge evolution, but photosynthesis as well. These are mere theories and need to be disputed. Clearly, science and the tabloids have demonstrated that Bigfoot lives. The subject of Bigfoot should be taught in our schools. And, yes, Joe, Menlo Park is an ideal place to conduct a scientific search for him (her?). Just say the word, and Iíll get my flashlight. By the way, Joe, congratulations on your newly published exploration book: Through the Alimentary Canal with Gun and Camera.
Posted by Joe, a resident of the Menlo Park: Allied Arts/Stanford Park neighborhood, on Aug 21, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Bigfoot and I have a mutual nondisclosure agreement. I agree to gives hints as to his continued existence and his lifestyle -- he loves press coverage -- and he agrees to keep quiet about providing me with the occasional Mule deer or California quail for my freezer.
And speaking of the press, I want to squelch this implication by Suspicious that I may be Bigfoot. For one thing, his knowledge of the Microsoft operating system and Internet Explorer are rudimentary at best. He's also a very poor typist, though he does have a good vocabulary.
Posted by Joe, a resident of the Menlo Park: Allied Arts/Stanford Park neighborhood, on Aug 29, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Dear Penelope - I must say that I am rather surprised to see you publicize that there is a "Sasquatch" in your basement.
We both know that Bigfoot lives in the woods in and around Woodside and Portola Valley -- and that he sometimes sleeps in friends' basements. Perhaps by publicizing this you are trying for a foothold in Bigfoot's publicity apparatus? There is room in my small firm for a young up-and-comer if you're interested.
For those others of you who'd like to know more, Bigfoot does occasionally sleeps over in Woodside and Portola Valley basements. He also enjoys playing bridge and chatting about the politics of the day over wine and he seeks adversaries in manly wrestling matches.
Stay tuned to me, Joe, the only reliable source for the inside scoop on Bigfoot and his life on the Peninsula.