I have often wondered about how the many coaches we have had over the past few years are able to take the time off to do this. I know that my husband in his job just would not be able to do this, partly because of the workload and unpredictability of such work, but also his need to travel at short notice.

I remember a conversation between a coach's wife and a couple of other moms at a game where this was the topic. This coaching wife told us that his coaching was the one thing outside of work that he did and that usually after his coaching stint he was straight back to his office for another 4 or 5 hours work. Not sure if a woman would do this or not.

The other thing that came out of this conversation was the fact that from the experience of these women chatting, many of the coaches were divorced and only had minimal visitation with their kids. By volunteering to coach they were able to up the number of hours they saw their own kids each week. This scenario would be less likely to the situation with a woman.

Nevertheless, it is a good discussion topic. Perhaps some other coaches or their wives would like to chip in.

The other aspect of this from a parent's pov, is that with Little League in particular (which is where I have experience and it may be true of other organizations) there is a much better chance of a child doing well in the sport if it is known that the father is willing to coach. From being on the best teams, majors, or getting into the All Stars, those kids with active Dads who coach these teams are automatically shoed in to the team even if they are not the best player. Those good players who should get in often don't get looked over because of this. Of course the powers that be will deny that nepotism is a factor, but what Dad will volunteer to coach a team that his own child doesn't get on?

I feel for you. I work in the tech industry. In spite of being as productive (may be even more) than most of my male colleagues, I feel stigmatized of "not taking work seriously". "Have it all" seems like a distant dream!

This is an interesting topic. In my experience with kids sports, there were both moms and dads who were willing to coach. Most of the parents had very demanding jobs, the key to it working was quantity, there were enough coaches that they could juggle their schedules when needed. And many of them went back to the office after practice in particular.

@Mother of 4 - we also found that in PA Little League the "coach's kid" always made the All Star and the better teams (and they got a lot more playing time and better positions). Unfortunately, in a volunteer organization, that's the luck of the draw.

Thanks for the comments, fellow moms. I have no experience with coaching, but my daughter's team had several fathers who did juggle practices and cover for each other - this seemed to work great.

Also, all of the working women I know including me are accustomed to "going back to work" (perhaps not in the office per se) for several hours after our kids go to bed regardless of when we leave the office. I'm not sure this is the answer - it's not exactly a well-balanced way to live, but dedication among working mothers does not appear to be an issue as far as I'm concerned.

Interesting discussion and topic.

As a working dad and coach, and husband to a working wife, I think all of these types of commitments that are being discussed fall under the category of priorities to one as a parent. And they are very personal. Volunteering to coach my kids is a priority for me and thus, I make it work i.e. it's not easy and does require working around it or at night, etc. but it is a priority so I make it work. Btw, working for several hours at night is a daily norm for me too, because I try to generally leave "early" from the office in-order to maximize time with my kids in the evenings. Another priority for me at this point in my life.

And in my experience, most employers in the valley offer enough flexibility for such personal commitments (to both its male and female employees) so that at the end of the day its up to each one of us to prioritize what's most important to us, while also being a professional about how best to deliver on the expectations at work. And yes, these choices will sometimes result in delaying a promotion or being perceived as not being serious about work.....but hopefully that's a trade-off that you're comfortable making given the benefits of whatever the activity that you're choosing to prioritize.

Finally, regardless of the gender issues being discussed - the real winners of these priorities are our kids! And I count my blessings that we live in communities where we have enough of such parents, making these (obviously) tough choices, all for the sake of our kids :-)

This is why unions were created -- to protect workers.