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10 to Twins

By Jessica T

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About this blog: I'm a late thirties mother of a ten-year-old and infant twins. My family moved to Menlo Park 6 years ago from Virginia - where I grew up, went to college, got married, had my first born, and got an MBA (in that order). I'm a manag...  (More)

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Life in fast forward

Uploaded: Sep 16, 2014
With fall around the corner, our life has reached a frenetic pace. Work is busier than ever. A new academic year for my elder daughter and my husband means that real life has set in for all of us. If I don't take care of myself, my stress will get the best of me, and I'll lose what little sleep I can carve out from my nights.

In the midst of this chaos, there are a few routines I hold dear for myself and my kids. I swim twice a week before work and go on a run on the weekend with my husband. I cuddle the twins in the morning and greet my oldest before she goes off to school. The twins keep me company (and get into absolutely everything) in the bathroom as I get ready for work. Most nights, we eat dinner together as a family. I bathe the twins and read them stories. Before I settle in to finish what work remains from my day, I usually get to hear one middle school anecdote from my elder daughter.

During the week, this never feels like enough time with my little ones, but we can usually catch up on some quality time on the weekends. Then, I get to play outside with the twins and have at least a few shouting, door-slamming altercations with my soon-to-be teen. What's hardest is twofold:

1) Remembering last fall - This time last year I was at home on maternity leave, enjoying the coming season with my new babies and taking long walks with my husband and napping kids.

2) Not remembering last fall - Thanks to biology, sleep deprivation, and age, I can barely picture what my babies looked like and how they behaved last year.

When my oldest was one, I mourned each passing month and drove myself crazy trying to squint backwards to recapture what she was like as a tiny baby. I felt enormously guilty spending time away from work focused on other pursuits, like applying for new jobs or taking statistics at a local community college to prepare for business school. In hindsight I see that the guilt was not only misplaced but useless.

This time around, I shrug off similar thoughts more easily. I focus on being present with my kids for the short time that I have with them during the week. (Though it feels short, apparently it's 21% more than my 1965 doppleganger.) It has brought me peace to remember that as one door closes in my babies' lives, another opens. They may no longer be breastfeeding, but now they are learning to communicate with me, giving way to a new satisfaction.

To new mothers who want to relish absolutely everything in their new babes' lives, let me offer these words: Life will get insanely busy, but slow down and give your kids what you can of yourself. Some weeks you may not be able to give as much as you'd like, but your smile will keep them going just as theirs does for you.
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Comments

 +  Like this comment
Posted by Jane Smith, a resident of Atherton: West Atherton,
on Sep 17, 2014 at 12:45 pm

Maybe if you didn't write blog posts about how busy you are, you wouldn't be quite so busy! :)


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Karen, a resident of Old Palo Alto,
on Sep 18, 2014 at 6:42 am

I agree with Jane-maybe it is time to prioritize what matters to you most.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Sea-Seelam Reddy, a resident of College Terrace,
on Sep 18, 2014 at 6:53 pm

Dear parents

It will all pass. Do the best you can. Your children will be great adults, will appreciate all you have done for them. Love them, guide them, they will be what they want to be and what DNA they have.

Respectfully


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Urooshi, a resident of Menlo Park: Stanford Hills,
on Sep 8, 2016 at 11:13 pm

I always get wonderful, one of kind things at trends! And I feel good and kind conservationist (so does my wallet) shopping here. I have acquired pieces I would never dream of plunking down the cash for at the original stores they had to have been purchased from. Most things are in very good condition! Trends now have twice the space it had originally. Things are very well organized (though shoes, as always, tend to get jumbled by size) and everything is in good condition…It's all computerized, so everything you brought in and it's sales price is easy to see Web Link.


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