By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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Marriage Interview 4: Flagging Interest in Sex
Uploaded: Apr 2, 2015
Thomas met his wife, MaryAnn, at a dinner party. They started dating a month later, and were married within the year. They've now been married over 50 years
In VoiceMale, Chethik's survey shows that a man who knows within a month that he wants to marry a woman, generally has a lasting marriages, while a man who take months or years to decide, does not.
Thomas says that one of the biggest problems they have had is that as he has aged, his interest in sex has flagged, while his love remains. This is upsetting to MaryAnn. Thomas states that hormones are the cause of this change for him.
As a couple's therapist, I would have recommended a thorough checkup for Thomas with his MD, and ensure that they have an open line of communication about their sex life. There are many ways for a man (or woman) to sexually satisfy one's beloved with or without intercourse.
I also would have worked with them to determine if there were other reasons that their sex life was flagging. It is normal for couple's sex lives to go through changes and even be problematic at times. Many couples find it very difficult or embarrassing to discuss their love life in the light of day.
I hope Thomas and MaryAnn snuggle and give to one another in each others' Love Language.
Thomas' tip for couples is:
Cool it if You Want to Keep it
What is it worth to you?
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