I was at Rossotti's for Friday happy hour last week, along with all the Apple 40-year anniversary folks running around the backyard, acting all Think Different.
For those of you that don’t know, Rossotti’s (aka Alpine Inn) is one of those “last great neighborhood bars," and you should go if you haven’t, or even if you have. It’s a good time to visit Zot’s in Portola Valley because the sun blazes in the outdoor seating area till after 6 PM. It's quite a fun scene.
While there, my gal pal A and I were talking guys, and going out to dinner, and she said something I had to write down…
“Let men pay. They like it. It’s sexy.”
The next day I went to U’s College Terrace party. Lots of interesting Palo Alto people, ready to discuss any topic in depth.
“Should we just let men pay?”
D, male and fellow Food Partier! responded, and we emailed afterwards…
“College Terrace parties are great places to meet people,” he writes. “Where else can I have conversations with two master composters about my passion for backyard greenwaste piles, chat with gents named Truman and Adonis about American history and Greece, talk with the chap who introduced you to us, about the secrets of good relationships, and have my golden—albeit tongue in cheek--words about men paying for things noted down by you.”
Now personally, I adhere to the ol’ you pay, I pay, you pay (a little more than me if you make more) rules of male/female engagement, but I certainly have always covered my way. I don’t fight over a bill though, and when it comes to dinner, I cook more for you than you cook for me, but whose counting? Hell, when I wrote Men Are Good For Three Things did I say any of them were $$$?
Back to D, this is what he said,
“They pay to show their generosity, and they expect spontaneity in return.”
Then I asked my brother Rick from Michigan the same question and this is what he emailed back...
“Why NOT let men pay? Really ladies.......what do you think is going on here?
‘Well......I wish to assert my independence. I am a self supporting, self actualized individual. I don't NEED any man paying my way. ‘
Are we applying for a JOB ?..............or .............are we looking for Romance ? That IS the point of dating isn't it? Or.......is that too Midwestern ?
Men.........in general (lets be 'real' here. After all, it's just us ladies talking ;) are some what .....ehh…'limited' in their 'social skills.’ Really, how many times have you gone out with that smooth talking, man about town, George Clooney say? If you did have that good fortune, I'll bet George wanted to pay. The rest of the guys.......who are definitely NOT George are desperately trying to pretend they ARE. The one thing they DO hope will impress you is they PAY THE BILL. Most of them can't really carry on any kind of a conversation. Unless you want to talk about the Forty Niners............yeeeeesh
And yes........we all know they are hoping you will 'cover the dessert'.
You don't have to want dessert. That is your choice. Or better, wink your eye and say........... "maybe next time I'll be hungry?” Played right........he is putty in your hand. Trust me. And if not..........just what are you here for? Are you looking for a business partner? Or a romance? If it is a business partner......... then split the damn bill and feel righteous. Go home. Enjoy the comfort of your superiority ..............while living alone with your cat.
Should men be allowed to 'chase' women? Should women let themselves be 'pursued?’ Well............it has worked for thousands of years. Who are we to say it was all wrong?”
Now that’s some fun writing brother!
Ok first - I do not have a cat.
Second, what do you think men… if I pay the bill, do I lessen your enjoyment?
‘Cuz I certainly don’t want to get in the way of anybody's fun.
Rossotti’s (Alpine Inn)
3915 Alpine Rd, Portola Valley
Who said Rossotti’s is a dive bar?