The last weeks on the blog call for a re-post of Food Party! decorum. Readers, while we strive for higher ideals and better solutions, this is not the Purity Party. I learned a long time ago that the sinners are more fun than the saints, and, if it ain’t fun, it don’t get done (Food Party! motto). While my dear mama might appreciate any catapult toward piety, the rest of us are dubious. There are no glorified souls among these words. Hell, we even write favorably about beef at times! So for your safety, watch out for falling dogma, and please keep hands and your perfection, inside at all times during the ride.
Alright then, what were we talking about?
Ah yes…why would you win Survivor?
So, I stopped by the Travel and Adventure Show last weekend. It’s one of those walk-by-a-bunch-of-tables kind of events. DON’T pick up the plastic tchotchkes though, cuz you know you don’t need them, and besides, you might get yelled at by Plastic Man during the comment section.
I really enjoyed the California section of the show, where many counties were showing off fun happenings in their area.
Pull out a map, put on a blindfold, and point – your assignment is to go visit a new area of California this summer. Better yet go early fall when the schoolies have gone back to learning. Go now! We have so many cute towns and areas you have never been to. Get inspired with indoor and outdoor travel ideas online. The counties are putting in such a nice effort to show you how to party the way you like, once you get there.
So it’s the end of the show. I’m walking out past the last few tables and I hear some gal yell out, “Hey, do you want to audition for Survivor?”
OK, confession time – I’ve been binge-watching old Survivor reruns lately, complaining all the while that I didn’t try out years ago when young and in fine feather. I wasn’t going to do anything about it mind you…. but I have been dreaming what it would’ve been like.
My first reaction to tabling gal was, “oh gosh, no, I couldn’t,” (translation: I’m too old) and kept walking, for about 15 feet, until I face planted into the Wall of Real Hypocrisy, stopping me instantly with two big foot thumps and a loud, “hey, wait a minute, why not?”
I went back.
After a bit of quick paperwork, it was up to the popup studio, wondering all the way who was the oldest player on Survivor, and specifically, the age of the oldest woman. A room of hipsters with bright, blue CBS baseball caps greeted me, so I asked them.
(what?…blank stares….who?…old people??).
Funny, even I knew the first answer, and I haven’t been a long-time fan. The oldest guy played with Hatch on the first show, the Sergeant or something…now…what was his name? The oldest woman I had to look up.*
Trivia tidbit: In only three shows has the oldest player of a season been the first person voted out.
I got in right away – it wasn’t busy. The Production Manager asked if I prepared an audition, and I’m like, uh, no. “OK, we’ll ask you some questions.” It was only about 1.5 minutes, but I've been thinking about his questions all week.
Now it’s my time to ask you…
1. What was the greatest adventure in your life?
2. Why would YOU win Survivor?
I two for #1'ed: : the 1988 Peace Walk, and a bicycle trip from Las Vegas to Boulder CO. Question 2 was harder. I didn't do so well. Relieved my first thought, “Huh? I’m not going to win Survivor,” stayed silent or they would have voted me off right there. I stumbled with some milk toast answer about good and evil, and how I wouldn’t play as liar and cheat like Russell did in Season 19, but rather with honor, that main Survivor conundrum. Yeech! (throw me a bone, I just watched the finale). I’ve come up with a better answer since then - like I’m a fun, bad aXX with maturity, a strategic, creative thinker, and experienced outdoor adventurer who will outwit, outlast and outplay. My inner Sagittarian went even deeper. We all play Survivor – every day. What do I bring to the table that makes me a winner of Survivor Ultimate; that game called life? What do you bring? I’d definitely play up the cook role – who wouldn’t want a private chef on Survivor? Ooooo - that’s a great show name….Chef wins the challenge! Chef finds the Immunity Idol!
I also started thinking what I’d study in prep, if I got picked. Among them:
1. Spear fishing (Tip learned: the inner branch of a palm frond makes a sharp spear).
2. The native edible plants found around camp, including sea veggies. I never see contestants harvesting plants, which is confusing because edible greens are found all over the wild.
3. How to make fire with flint.
When asking friends the two questions, #1 often included a surprising response describing activities done alone, rather than with others.
Now, if nothing came to mind for you on question #1, good news! You are still here and it’s not over yet. Today is a great day to fill that bucket with life’s greatest adventures, or to start planning one, and it doesn’t have to depend on how old you are, or how much money you have.
If you do, or already have done,
may be reason why,
at the end of it all,
you will smile and say,
I have won.
*Rudy Boesch is the oldest male to ever play in Borneo at age 72, and then again in Allstars at age 75.
*Sonja Christopher is the oldest female. She was 63 when she played in Borneo.