By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." -- Victor Hugo
While we are biologically wired to need love, and to thrive in love, in the tiniest space of our mind and heart, many of us wonder if we are worthy and deserving of love.
Say, "Yes!" to love.
All of us have made mistakes, done things we are not proud of, and questioned our value now and then (except those of you who are perfect – I am kidding, I haven't met a perfect person). Those uncertainties and small feelings of guilt can spur us to become better people, to being more honest with ourselves and those around us. If awareness of your uncertainties turns you toward an inner hatred, depression or anxiety, please seek help.
Please remember the feeling of reveling in love; knowing that you are special, and he knows it; she sees it; he reflects it back to you every day; she tells you in detailed words; his touch fills you with that knowledge; her small gift shows her love; his act of kindness reminds you of his care; her listening lets you be and feel as you are.
So in spite of everything, show your love with conviction; and receive it that way, too.