Did you catch Martha Stewart on Sports Illustrated last week? At 81 years, she’s their oldest cover girl, beating Elon Musk’s mum, Maye Musk, who posed at age 74. I love watching Stewart reinvent herself time and again. What surprised me was all the discussion about “her girls.”
“I had to wear nine different bathing suits. All these people were prodding me and talking about ‘the girls.’ I have never called my breasts ‘the girls’ in my life. I hate stuff like that. The whole time, people were nudging, Poke this out, push that in.” - Martha Stewart
Gravity won out in the cover shot; it’s a nicely framed pix of breasts acting their age. But the accompanying media swirl about older women’s breasts, falling, they just lay there?, gender on steroids, and ohmygoodness who cares, this is newsworthy in 2023? Here’s the real story readers…
Everything Falls.
- graphic courtesy of the web
It might start with breasts or your face, but arms and stomach quickly settle. When the butt starts sliding south, you’re like…. really? But nature keeps goin. Tops of thighs succumb even if you’ve exercised all your life. And then the real kicker, the one media needs to discuss:
Our Sides Slowly Sink.
- graphic courtesy of the web
You know, that part between your upper legs and armpit. Who’s ever thought about body sides until the years creep in and remind us? Are there even exercises for de-sagging sides? This must be a big reason why balance is one of the first things to suffer with age. Falling breasts is a kiddy game compared to the rest of our descending destiny.
Alas, the only thing in life we might save from falling is souffle, as least long enough for blissful consumption. They too will eventually fall once hot air escapes the puffed-up whites, but until then remember - technique triumphs.
Interested in points all their own staying way up high? Here’s souffle tips for a good rise:
1. Use baking dishes with straight sides.
2. Butter only the bottoms of your souffle cups, not the sides
3. Preheat your baking sheet.
4. Use room temperature eggs.
5. Don’t overmix. Leave a few white and black streaks after folding in whites.
6. Keep the oven door closed during baking. Use the light to watch.
7. Don’t overcook; a little jiggle will do you
8. Cream of Tartar stabilizes egg whites.
9. Bake souffle and serve immediately.
- photo courtesy of LSIC
Chocolate Pinot Souffle
Makes 3
1.5 tablespoons butter
½ cup rough chopped dark chocolate
½ teaspoon vanilla
4 teaspoons Pinot Noir or Zinfandel
6 tablespoons sugar
1 tbsp ground almonds
2 egg yolks (room temperature)
3 egg whites (room temperature)
Powdered sugar or cocoa for serving
Preheat oven to 400°F.
Position your oven rack in the bottom 1/3rd of your oven. Preheat your baking sheet.
Melt ½ tablespoon butter, and brush it onto the bottom of 3, ¾-cup soufflé dishes.
Combine chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl with one tablespoon of butter, vanilla, wine, and all but ½ tablespoon of the sugar. Microwave in 30 second intervals, checking and stirring the chocolate, (1 minute or so) until smooth. Cool five minutes, then beat in egg yolks, one by one, and add in ground almonds.
In a large bowl, beat the egg whites until they form soft peaks, then add the remaining ½ tablespoon sugar and beat again until they form stiff peaks.
Fold a third of the meringue through the chocolate, then gently fold in remaining meringue. Some streaks of white and black are good to have.
Spoon into the souffle cups, filling them shy of the rim but at least ¾’s full. Run your finger around the inside of the dish to create a narrow moat. Remove baking sheet from oven and put souffles on top.
Bake until puffed and risen, but still soft inside (about 12-15 minutes). Dust with cocoa or powdered sugar.
Make ahead: Cover and refrigerate for 2-3 days, uncooked.
Garnish: Cut a paper heart, place over baked souffle, dust with powdered sugar, and leave the impression of a heart on the top.
