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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

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National Do Something Nice Day

Uploaded: Oct 8, 2023
October 5 was National Do Something Nice Day.

Since we missed the actual day, let’s all do something nice every day for the next seven days. These acts can be for strangers or people you know.

Then, do something nice for the 59 days after that (new habit = 66 days).

By December 9, you’ll be in the daily habit of doing something nice.

I want you to notice how you feel as you go through this process over the next 66 days.

“Just Do It,” as Nike says, because it actually is as good for you as for anyone you’re doing nice things for.

I want you to do it without:
- keeping score
- wondering if anyone else is doing something nice
- wondering if anyone is even noticing
- tracking if your efforts are being reciprocated

I look forward to hearing stories of nice things that you’ve done, and how you felt about it.
What is it worth to you?


Posted by Julia Morgan, a resident of Walnut Creek,
on Oct 8, 2023 at 12:17 pm

Julia Morgan is a registered user.

How do you deal with those who are conveying un-niceties towards you?

Simply smile and/or offer the middle-finger salute?

The only way this concept could work would be if people were being paid to be nice. Otherwise, rudeness and self-importance are part of the American landscape regardless of blue or red regionalities.

Posted by Heloise Taylor, a resident of Leland Manor/Garland Drive,
on Oct 11, 2023 at 1:34 pm

Heloise Taylor is a registered user.

Despite my husband's objections, I give money to homeless panhandlers who I presume are having a difficult time getting by.

Posted by Leticia Watson, a resident of East Palo Alto,
on Oct 14, 2023 at 9:07 am

Leticia Watson is a registered user.

Being nice to oneself is just as important as being nice to others, some might say even more especially when it comes to self-esteem issues.

I reward myself with a spa-day and a Stanford Shopping Center excursion.

On the other hand, it does not require any monetary outlay to be courteous and respectful towards others.

@Heloise does not buy eternal happiness (only fleeting moments of enjoyment or escape) which is why I do not give money to panhandlers.

Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Almanac Online blogger,
on Oct 14, 2023 at 9:36 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Julia, to reiterate:
I want you to do it without:
- keeping score
- wondering if anyone else is doing something nice
- wondering if anyone is even noticing
- tracking if your efforts are being reciprocated

Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Almanac Online blogger,
on Oct 14, 2023 at 9:39 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Heloise and Leticia, I prefer to give food and bottled water to people who are seeking help on the street. Yes, we all need to be nice to ourselves (focusing on self-talk maybe most important).

Posted by Emily Prescott, a resident of Midtown,
on Oct 16, 2023 at 7:46 am

Emily Prescott is a registered user.

We tithe 10% of our net income to our place of worship and leave it up to the church elders to decide where the fiscal resources go in terms of humanity and being nice. Delegating the responsibility frees us from having to deal with this issue on a more personal basis.

Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Almanac Online blogger,
on Oct 16, 2023 at 8:24 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

In addition to giving money to others, let's think of ways of being nice on a daily basis in which you DO a kindness. Here are a few examples: Not cutting off other drivers. Not ranting/venting. Saying hello to people you pass on the street. Talking to a clerk ringing you up instead of being on your phone. Asking someone how their day is going. Doing a kindness for a neighbor. Bringing a meal to someone who is recovering or grieving. Not yelling at your partner or kids. Please add your ideas.

Posted by Geraldine Paget, a resident of Midtown,
on Oct 16, 2023 at 1:49 pm

Geraldine Paget is a registered user.

We try to be cordial towards everyone and donate to various causes when we feel it is warranted.

With the current Israeli-Hamas conflict tragically impacting so many lives, we have encountered several individuals and groups seeking additional funds to assist in addressing this global crisis.

As senior citizens with a sizeable investment/retirement portfolio, we have been asked to make several five-figure donations to these groups to ensure that they can continue with their humanitarian efforts and wewill be doing so shortly in hopes that a peaceful solution to this ongoing tragedy can be accomplished.

Common courtesy and helping others can go a long way.

Posted by Jenna Baskin, a resident of Leland Manor/Garland Drive,
on Oct 16, 2023 at 2:15 pm

Jenna Baskin is a registered user.

How can we tell if these fundraising efforts are legitimate and that the monetary resources will go to the proper recipients?

We too are considering on making a monetary contribution to an advocacy group in Brooklyn, NY that promises not only to mediate in the Israel-Hamas conflict but to end all wars between the Jewish and Muslim communities.

Since it is highly unrealistic to personally share cordialities with those currently under siege, I am hoping that the money collected will have a direct impact on improving the lives of both Israelis and Palestinians caught in the crossfire.

Seeking funds to ensure peace is the least to ask of those who can easily afford to.

Posted by Rick Helms, a resident of Old Palo Alto,
on Oct 16, 2023 at 2:36 pm

Rick Helms is a registered user.

I keep a few airline-sized bottles of liquor and some packs of cigarettes in the trunk of my car to give to panhandlers seeking 'spare change' as it saves them the time and hassle of having to purchase these items on their own.

Some retail stores do not appreciate their patronage and this makes things easier for everyone.

While a smile and pleasantries can go a long way, sometimes the immediacy of one's personal needs takes precedence which is why I do not judge others including the homeless.

Posted by Jarrod Taylor, a resident of San Ramon,
on Oct 17, 2023 at 7:28 am

Jarrod Taylor is a registered user.

@Jenna Baskin & Geraldine Paget...
How can you be assured that the money you are donating (or planning to donate) isn't some sort of scam?

As Ms. Anderson has noted, doing something nice does not have to involve giving money.

In light of what's going on the world, wouldn't it be far more productive simply to practice the Golden Rule on an everyday basis with those you encounter?

The old adage, "a fool and his money are soon parted" is an ongoing aspect of the human condition.

We don't give money to anyone or any cause, including our grown children who are anxiously waiting for us to pass on so that they can receive their 'guestimated' trust distributions.

They have a big surprise coming.

Posted by SarahLee, a resident of Menlo Park: Menlo Oaks,
on Oct 18, 2023 at 12:29 am

SarahLee is a registered user.

Your thought are so much power full and its a really nice concept Chandrama,
I think we should start with giving flower and show our love to the people we care about using valueflora discount codes we can buy flowers at very low cost thanks to coupntives coupons and promo codes.

Posted by Cassandra Miller, a resident of San Ramon,
on Oct 18, 2023 at 1:46 pm

Cassandra Miller is a registered user.

I clip grocery store coupons and give the ones I don't use to needy people on the street.

My elder uncle likes to squeeze small children but sometimes his heartfelt gestures are misunderstood by overly cautious mothers.

I also keep plastic produce bags in my purse and hand them out to dog owners who are not picking-up after their dogs.

Not everyone appreciates our efforts towards being kind.

Posted by Mike Dennison, a resident of Community Center,
on Oct 19, 2023 at 7:49 am

Mike Dennison is a registered user.

Exchanging niceties is a worthwhile way to go about one's day. It doesn't take much and even a smile can go a long way towards acknowledging another person's existence.

On the other hand there are certain limitations depending on geography and safety parameters. To walk about a ghetto or warzone exchanging smiles and niceties might not be a good idea.

Small donations are OK in my book. We are one of those "only $19.95 per month" TV donors and we support various organizations such as the ACLU, United Negro College Fund, ASPCA, and both Shriners and St. Jude's hospitals.

$100.00 per month won't break us and it is tax-deductible.

Posted by Jacob Tanner, a resident of Barron Park,
on Oct 20, 2023 at 8:51 am

Jacob Tanner is a registered user.

We are now living in a world where common courtesy and a basic respect for others is pretty much non-existent.

And there is no going back given the disturbing self-serving attitudes and perspectives of: (1) the younger generations, (2) divisive national politicians, and (3) narcissistic world leaders.

The ongoing shift towards a more online virtual existence has also contributed to a lack of common courtesies because people can now vent and/or disparage one another in a non face-to-face environment.

It does not take a sociologist or psychologist to establish these premises.

Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Almanac Online blogger,
on Oct 21, 2023 at 7:05 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Every generation blames other generations. I don't support this notion. The loss of courtesy and respect is exactly why I'm asking YOU to reinstate it. Looking to blame others rather than doing what IS in our control, gives away our power.

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