World’s Most Expensive Foods, or What to Do with All That Extra Cash

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Tax Day a’-cometh.

I don’t have to pay this year though. I own my own business, and so does the president, and since he doesn’t pay, I’ll assume me either …yippee! Tax Relief-in-Chief. Taxes are for stupid people anyways.

I’ve been imagining what to get with the extra moola. Something totally wasteful and gold-plated feels right. Google “most expensive foods in the world” and you get options like Italian White Truffles for $160K, Caviar for $25,000, Yubari Melons for $22,872, or a Wagyu Steak for $2,800.

But I’m thinking maybe champagne … you know I love the bubbly. I see a bottle of Moet & Chandon Dom Perignon 1961 online for only $4,309.

We learned how to open the bottle with gusto this week at Total Wine and More, a new adult beverage super store in Mountain View, complete with an aisle of Chardonnay-Only, an Under $3, $4 and $5 aisle, and a big tasting bar with gals dancing a-top.

Well ok, no women were dancing on top of the bar, but some of us were seriously thinking about it.

It’s Big Bev for sure over there – the most alcohol I have ever seen in one place. But with a contemporary, exploratory feel – artisan producers, creative mixers, micro brews. They had to kick me out of the cigar room – what a smell.

And we learned how to saber champagne – the true way to open in celebration. “1-2-3-4-5-6; all champagne cages open in six turns,” says the cute French teacher. “Then take your champagne sword with a heavy blade – not too sharp. Find the seal on the neck of the bottle; that’s your point of contact.”