Premarital and Couples: “Marriage is not just spiritual communion . . . | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Almanac Online |

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By Chandrama Anderson

Premarital and Couples: “Marriage is not just spiritual communion . . .

Uploaded: Jul 8, 2021

it is also remembering to take out the trash.” Joyce Brothers

Marriage is sacred and also mundane. It's easy to lose sight of one or the other of those. Think about using the word AND in your relationship.

Joy and struggle.
Happiness and work.
Playfulness and chores.
Wanting and needing.
Receiving and giving.
Serious and funny.
Frustrating and fulfilling.
Disappointing and comforting.
Love and need.
Sexual and sensuous.
Loud and quiet.
Hilarious and challenging.
Exuberant and painful.
Bills and bills and fun things to do together.
Intimate and challenging.

Add your own AND sentences.

The value of AND is that it allows you to be your authentic self. That’s when your inside and outside align. You don’t have to be perfect (no one is—and the effort/energy to reach perfect is much better used toward emotional intimacy). You have to let your true self out in your relationship; otherwise, who gets loved? Your persona or mask. And that’s a lose AND lose for both of you.

You can take baby steps toward being authentic. Be transparent with your beloved. Let her/him know what you’re working on; ask for support.

Let me know how it’s going.