Child rearing: Author of child-rearing series moves on to book for pre-teens

By KATE DALY

"My kids are my influence," says Portola Valley author Sheila Ellison, well known for co-authoring the "365" series of child-rearing books: "365 Days of Creative Play," "365 Foods Kids Love to Eat," "365 Ways to Help Your Children Grow," "365 Days of Baby Love," and "365 Afterschool Activities" (Sourcebooks, $12.95).
The series began about a decade ago and stemmed form her experience as a new mother.
As her children have grown, so has her subject matter. Her eldest daughter is 12, and as she approached adolescence, Ms. Ellison sought out a journal to help her preteen express herself.
Ms. Ellison couldn't find one she liked, so she ended up creating "To Girls from Girls," a fill-in-the-blank kind of journal, where there's text to guide the writer's thoughts. On the topic of friendship, for example, questions are asked, such as: What qualities do you look for in a friend? When were you hurt?
In developing the journal, Ms. Ellison interviewed many of her child's classmates at Corte Madera Middle School and contacted students in other states via the Internet.
She expects the journal to be published by Scholastic next year.
Pooling resources

Her present lifestyle has inspired another book she's co-authoring. At 37, Ms. Ellison is divorced and back in town after living in New Zealand for awhile. Finding it difficult to afford the area, she has struck up a temporary living arrangement with Danna Breen, another single mother with four children in the same age bracket.

They're now working on a book to show others how to pool resources to stay in their communities. She describes the setup as "sort of like a commune" where the driving, cooking, and babysitting are shared.

Ms. Ellison finds the flexibility particularly helpful with her youngest son. He is autistic and needs a lot of one-on-one time each day.

Leaving lists

"I was a controlling parent and would leave lists of what to do in a big binder for the babysitter and my ex-husband," says Ms. Ellison, explaining the origin of the "365" book series.

Friends advised her to publish the ideas, and she did, in her first book: "365 Days of Creative Play."

From there she went on to other titles based on a lot of research "on everyday solutions."

"I ask people all the time: talk to teachers, kids, and read parenting magazines to get ideas," says Ms. Ellison, who was raised in Minnesota and received a bachelor's degree in psychology from the University of Southern California.

Co-authors of the series have included Ms. Ellison's former mother-in-law, a sister, and Barbara Barnett, a psychologist in Menlo Park.

The "365" books have been illustrated by her children and fellow classmates at Ormandale Elementary. Ms. Ellison says she would come to school to talk about publishing and have students draw pictures. In return, they received credit, a free signed book, and a class party.

The popularity of her books has led to frequent guest spots on radio talk shows around the country, where she is asked to give parenting tips. She does that by phone. Occasionally, she ends up traveling to do book signings.

Whatever the demands of her life, Ms. Ellison somehow manages to find time to write everyday.

365 too many? Try these four

Here's a sample of Ms. Ellison's favorite ideas from her books:

**Put 10 common household items in a paper bag and give it to your child/children to create a skit.

**For the younger set, give them a paint brush and a bucket of water and let them loose outside.

**Keep a suggestion box for the children to write about whatever is on their minds, and take it with you on long car trips to stimulate discussion.

**Have children write a "feel good notebook" every night, listing the five good things that happened to them each day. If they're too sleepy, have them tell you instead.