Local author of book on divorce is focus of Oprah Winfrey TV show Local author of book on divorce is focus of Oprah Winfrey TV show (March 01, 2000)

**Show spotlights author of book on divorce.
By MARY MacGRATH

It's not everyday that Oprah Winfrey calls on your neighbor, but that's, in effect, what happened recently when a producer of the Oprah Winfrey television show called Portola Valley resident Sheila Ellison.
Within a day, a filming crew showed up at her door, and within a week, a full one-hour Oprah Winfrey Show ws devoted to Ms. Ellison and her new book, "The Courage to Be a Single Mother; Becoming Whole Again After Divorce." The show aired last Thursday, February 24.
Oprah was planning to do a feature about women and divorce, when the producers spotted the title of Ms. Ellison's book in a recent Harper Collins catalog announcing new books.
"After a brief telephone conversation, they asked if I would be available the next day to start taping a portion of the segment here, in my home," says Ms. Ellison. "I had no idea that within a few days I would be in Chicago taping the rest of the show, or that the segment would actually air within the week. It all happened very quickly and was completely synchronistic, especially since my book will not actually be available in bookstores until this July."
Burning issue

"Oprah sees divorce as a burning issue among women today -- especially so since more than an estimated 57 percent of the nation's marriages end in divorce," says Ms. Ellison.

The book is a story of how she moved through her divorce process and began to rebuild her life.

"I never thought or expected that my marriage would end in divorce," says Ms. Ellison, who has published a series of parenting books based on 365 activities for children.

To many people, her marriage may have appeared to be the all-American, picture-perfect, postcard marriage, complete with a beautiful California home, four gorgeous children, and a husband with a successful career playing football for the 49ers.

"Many women are caught off guard when divorce enters the picture and have no idea how to process the grief in a positive way, or how to start rebuilding their lives," says Ms. Ellison. "My wish for women is to know that they are not alone, that there is support, and that it may be as close as three doors away, right in their own community.

"There is a world of support out there, but you need to learn how to ask for help and how to become part of an extended family with other single-parent families."

Grieving process

During Oprah's program, a workshop was conducted with three women who are in the early stages of their divorces. "By using some of the ideas and tools I present in my book, we were able to show how one can empower themselves through the grieving and healing process," says Ms. Ellison.

"Working with Oprah was a very special experience," she says. "Oprah is so present with everyone she works with and she puts you completely at ease. In fact, she told us to pretend like we were in a friend's living room and to behave accordingly."

She admits being so nervous before the show started, she thought she was going to faint. "But Oprah walked right up to me, shook my hand and told me how wonderful and important my book was. I immediately felt confident that she wouldn't let me fall on my face. Oprah has an incredible gift of knowing how to inspire everyone she works with."

What Ms. Ellison found really remarkable, is that after the show, Oprah had only about 45 minutes before tapping the next show, but instead of excusing herself from the set and rushing off, "she stayed and visited with us for a good 15 to 20 minutes, and said she was sorry she had to leave."

Oprah also has an "uncanny gift" of knowing how to use humor to help people feel at ease on the set and around her, Ms. Ellison says. "She is so natural and normal. Within a very short amount of time, you find yourself feeling like your visiting with an old friend."

According to Ms. Ellison, the program will be aired again, later this summer, to coincide with her book's release in July. Ms. Ellison also said that there may be plans underway to film a follow-up segment on the women who participated in the show's workshop.

The writer of this story, Mary MacGrath, is a friend and neighbor of Sheila Ellison.