Untapped potential: The crucial role of parents in the education of high school students Untapped potential: The crucial role of parents in the education of high school students (January 07, 2004)

By David Boyce

Almanac Staff Writer

Who needs a coach? Athletes, both amateur and professional, tend to have coaches throughout their careers whether they want them or not. Actors and singers are also known to use them. But many of us seem to muddle through without a mentor.

Do parents need coaches, particularly as their teenagers are navigating high school? Some parents may be naturals, perhaps because they had great parents themselves, but is it worthwhile for average parents of a teen to get out there and expose themselves to critical thinking about parenting?

A recent nationwide survey indicates that most parents and guardians have a do-it-yourself attitude, even though they report feeling "unprepared" to meet the challenges of being a parent.

A teen's academic performance, leadership skills and health are all at risk. Research shows these factors are more affected by parental involvement than by a family's economic status, parent education level or ethnicity. And when parents aren't involved, students are more likely to engage in substance abuse, violence and sexual activity.

In the Sequoia Union High School District -- which includes some 4,000 teenagers at Menlo-Atherton and Woodside high schools -- many parents need a better understanding of what their children are facing in school, says Dorthy Burnside, who heads the district's parent involvement program.

Ms. Burnside notes that testing data shows significant improvement is needed in the academic performance of 50 percent to 60 percent of the district's approximately 7,600 students -- about 4,200 students, generally from lower- and middle-income households.

The parents of this group of students may not fully realize what is at stake in high school and "it's critical for parents to understand what is happening," Ms. Burnside told the Almanac.

To be competently involved, Ms. Burnside says, parents must build trusting relationships with their children, understand the support options available at school, and get the students into the right classes at the right time after becoming familiar with their goals and skills.

Some parents may be too busy to commit to this level of participation, Ms. Burnside says. Some parents may ignore the issues because they feel overwhelmed by academic issues, their own level of education, their economic status or the size of their family.

"I believe they care," she says. "I think that they get kind of lost. ... If you don't go out of your door to get [this understanding], it doesn't automatically come to you."

The Sequoia district has let it be known that it's ready to help, and many parents are taking advantage of the program. Between September 2001 and June 2003, parent education events have been attended by 2,480 district parents, a number that does not reflect multiple attendances by the same person.

"If your students are having difficulty in school, the place to go is school to find out the answers," Ms. Burnside says.

The district offers a packed schedule, including multiple-week parent institutes, frequent regular talks by experts, grade-specific information nights, discussions on cultural issues, and college and career planning, most of them with bilingual services.

The parent involvement program has a budget this year of about $28,000, down from about $58,000 last year, which will mean two rather than four parent institutes this year, Ms. Burnside says.

Sue Swope attended two parent institutes last year. Her son is a freshman this year at Menlo-Atherton. "My only frustration was that there weren't as many people involved [as could have been]. It should have been a lot more utilized," she says.

Ms. Burnside noted that these events have been well-attended by Latino parents, a trend she attributes to their being highly motivated to move their families beyond entry-level jobs.
Enjoying your teenager

With an Atherton police officer in daily attendance at Menlo-Atherton High School and with the school enrolling more than 2,000 students from 17 different feeder schools that represent a broad socio-economic and ethnic profile, parents and students new to M-A can be forgiven for seeing it as an institution to be reckoned with.

There was some trepidation in the Swope family with their son about to enter M-A as a freshman. "You don't have anything to compare it to," says Ms. Swope, whose son attended Laurel, Encinal and Hillview schools in the Menlo Park school district.

So this past summer, she spent seven of her Tuesday nights at M-A with about eight other parents listening to a facilitator well-versed in the pitfalls and pathways in a modern public high school. A Spanish-language version of the class had about 75 parents in attendance.

"This is really a good way to see your son or daughter in a different light," says Ms. Swope, who played a teenager in a role-playing exercise in the class.

She says she has adjusted to her son now doing his homework on a pillow in the family room while listening to music. It's not a desk with a reading lamp, but locale is not the issue, she says.

"It teaches you to enjoy your teenager," said Pamela Mosley, a single mom from East Palo Alto who attended the classes and whose son, now a sophomore at M-A, has "hair out to here" and, as she puts it, prefers the homeless look in his choice of clothes.

"He's not a pretty picture right now," she says, but the classes gave her insights on "the importance of being positive and seeing teenagers as a real asset to the community."

Talking to a teenager can be a puzzle, but now she's got a few tricks to call on. Instead of asking her son, "How was school today?" which normally elicits a one-syllable response, Ms. Mosley might ask, "How was art class today?"

This simple question has a dual purpose, Ms. Mosley says: Its specificity may trigger a more thoughtful answer, but it also broaches the subject of the school day on what could be a less painful note than a query about geometry class. Easing into the conversation can create a comfort level that may encourage talk on more difficult subjects, she says.

The key is reframing the situation in a positive direction, Ms. Swope says. She described a hypothetical girl midway through high school being asked to the senior prom. Instead of responding with parental indignation, Ms. Swope says, the wiser choice would be to open the conversation with something like: "It must have felt good to have a senior invite you to the prom."

Sometimes, the teen really wants the parent to say no, Ms. Mosley adds.
It takes a village

"Education is freedom," Ms. Burnside says. "We know the value of education, but how do we instill its relevancy in our youth so they take advantage of it in the moment. That's the challenge."

To promote that relevance, the Sequoia district has received a $5,000 grant from the Peninsula Community Foundation to begin a program that will focus on bringing in more parents.

The guide for this effort is a list of 40 actions that parents, educators and the community can take to "help young people grow up healthy, caring and responsible."

While the list of actions reflects common-sense ideas about raising children -- such as keeping open lines of communication with teens, encouraging integrity and finding non-parental adult role models -- the benefit may well be in the testing of these items and the implied commitment to address each one.

The list is based on 15 years of research in child and adolescent development by the nonprofit Search Institute, located in Minneapolis, and the YMCA. Since 1989, the institute says it has surveyed more than 2 million young people in the United States and Canada.

Institute data shows progressively positive trends in student academic performance, exhibition of leadership and healthy habits as more of these actions are undertaken, with a corresponding rise in bad habits among students when they are ignored.

Ms. Burnside's office is now coordinating the training of four or five parent volunteers at each of its high schools to work as facilitators for parent workshops on the institute's list of actions.
INFORMATION

For more information on the Search Institute and its list of recommendations, go to search-institute.org. For information on the Sequoia Union High School District's parent involvement program, call Dorthy Burnside at 369-1411, ext. 2317.

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