News

Goldilocks ala noir

 

Menlo Park resident Fran Kearton and Dick Van Dyke collaborated on writing skits for "The Fran and Dick Show," a live daytime variety show on TV in Atlanta during the 1950s.

This entire script is in Ms. Kearton's 1993 book, "Waiting for the Banana Peel." In this excerpt (edited for brevity) of a send-up of the police drama "Dragnet," untimely death comes to Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

The scene: Detective Friday and his partner Thursday learn that Goldilocks was found dead on the street.

Friday: "Yes, she was found wearing a derby and slacks."

Thursday: "At least she died like a man."

Friday: "Here's a hospital report on Father Bear. They performed an autopsy."

Thursday: "What'd he die from?"

Friday: "The autopsy."

(They go to the home of the Three Bears)

Friday: "In here, Thursday, this is where the bears live."

Thursday: "How do you know?"

Friday: "Look what's on the floor: a people-skin rug. And there's Baby Bear. He's been murdered.

Thursday: "The killer must still be here. The body's still warm."

Friday: "It oughtta be. It's on the stove. You'd better examine it for bullets and then check with ballistics."

Thursday: "What's ballistics?"

Friday: "I don't know, but they always say that on 'Dragnet.'"

What is community worth to you?
Support local journalism.

Comments

Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

Stay informed

Get daily headlines sent straight to your inbox.

Couple brings Chinese zongzi to Mountain View
By Elena Kadvany | 1 comment | 6,147 views

Don't Miss Your Exit (and other lessons from an EV drive)
By Sherry Listgarten | 12 comments | 1,928 views

Goodbye Food Waste!
By Laura Stec | 5 comments | 1,711 views

"Better" Dads and "Re-invigorated" Moms: Happier Couples
By Chandrama Anderson | 0 comments | 1,268 views

Bobby in Naziland: A Tale of Flatbush
By Stuart Soffer | 2 comments | 568 views

 

Register today!

On Friday, October 11, join us at the Palo Alto Baylands for a 5K walk, 5K run, 10K run or half marathon! All proceeds benefit local nonprofits serving children and families.

Learn More