Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

Click on picture to enlarge.

By Jane Knoerle

“If you want a Martha Stewart wedding, don’t buy this book,” Father Miles O’Brien Riley told guests at a book-signing event held June 16 at the Menlo Park home of his longtime friend, Marianne Walters. Ms. Walters is a retired vice principal of Oak Knoll School.

Also on hand were Ms. Walters’ sisters, Elizabeth Kibbey and Lyn Cobb, and their parents, Mack and Madelyn Jason of Atherton.

Father Riley’s book (his 13th) is titled “It’s Your Wedding — Not Theirs.” The 65-page paperback is filled with his observations from presiding at more than 2,300 weddings in the past 45 years.

“I want to give brides the tools to personalize and spiritualize their weddings,” he says. “The first chapter is about the bride’s attitude. Does she want to be a superstar or the hostess for a meaningful ceremony for family and friends?”

Each of the 40 chapters begins with “your” in the title: Your Goal, Your Mother, Your Budget, Your Cake, Your Surprises.

The author polled 55 couples whose weddings he has presided over, and included photos from their weddings and accounts of their experiences. He says musicians, wedding coordinators, and photographers can cause major problems.

“Musicians are only interested in getting the next gig, especially the DJs,” he says. As for wedding planners, “Most of them learned their craft at Moscone Center car shows.” He shudders at the thought of photographers who keep the wedding party posing for photos for as much as an hour and a half after the ceremony. “Sometimes they even take the couple off somewhere to pose for a bunch of cutesy photos.”

Father Riley lives in Miramar these days, but grew up in Atherton with his parents, Bill and Frances Riley, and six brothers and sisters. According to his Web site, the Riley children performed skits, played musical instruments, wrote poetry and songs. As a youngster, he read children’s parts for Saturday morning radio programs.

Father Riley studied marriage and family counseling at the University of San Francisco and communications at Stanford, Notre Dame, and Loyola (New Orleans) universities, and received a doctorate from UC Berkeley.

He studied theology at the Gregorian University in Rome and was ordained at the North American College in Rome in 1963. He served as a parish priest at several Bay Area parishes and in 1970 founded the Communications Center for the Archdiocese of San Francisco.

Father Riley has written five musical comedies, produced a dozen films, and hosted more than 1,500 television programs, according to his Web site. He retired as a Catholic priest seven years ago.

“It’s Your Wedding, Not Theirs” at $24.99 may be ordered at Kepler’s bookstore in Menlo Park. Call (650) 324-4321.

Father Miles Riley greets guests at his book-signing party with, from left, sisters Elizabeth Kibbey and Marianne Walters. Father Riley officiated at both women's weddings. Photo by Ed Zappia.
Father Miles Riley greets guests at his book-signing party with, from left, sisters Elizabeth Kibbey and Marianne Walters. Father Riley officiated at both women’s weddings. Photo by Ed Zappia.

Most Popular

Leave a comment